The day is upon us. Rom-coms are on offer, we’re craving pink chocolate, and meal deals are two for one. As I stared at my face in a giant, red, heart-shaped, reflective balloon, I knew it was time to share. I’m no Alan Turing: this is just the thinking of little old me. But I have a theory on relationships.
The bomb… my nearest and dearest know this one well. I’m not talking devices containing explosive or incendiary materials, think more Tom Jones’s “Sex Bomb”… This is my theory, I live by it, although some days it’s hard to fully feel it, I give it my best go. It allows me to evaluate my relationships, romantically and also with myself.
So let me lay it out. ‘The Bomb’ – the best thing since sliced bread, the bees knee’s, the cat’s pyjamas. In a relationship, every party must be, and also be regarded as, the bomb. That’s a lot of bombs if you break it down. Take Jack and Jill for instance, Jack has to know he is the bomb, and also think that Jill is the bomb, whilst Jill thinks Jack is the bomb and also knows that she is the bomb. Let’s hope they don’t roll down that hill too wildly. If one of these bombs is missing I think you’re in the wrong relationship. Detonation pending.
Now this equation isn’t entirely feasible 24 hrs a day, I don’t know about you but I definitely don’t think I’m the dog’s bollocks 365 days a year. Sometimes you have emergency root canal, pass out twice during your trip, need to be fed a diet of Tomato soup and Jack Daniels for the rest of the day and told you’re still beautiful even though you’re drooling. Just me? That’s the best thing about the theory. If for a moment we forget how important our love for ourselves is, our partner can remind us we’re still the bomb. If we keep levels up and feel bombful 90% of the time, I’m sold. If a friend has that in their partner, I’m Pinterest searching bridesmaid shoes.
Cliché, but I reckon there’s a lot to loving yourself before you can love someone else. It’s as simple as fitting your own oxygen mask first. Then you’re alive to help others. Once we’ve fallen in love with ourselves we then open ourselves up to love others, and if we don’t love ourselves then we sure as hell won’t let anyone else love us. Have you ever had an awful day at work, you’ve had no time to explain to your partner what’s up, it’s date night, you cancel. Negative thoughts can make us retreat from loved ones, but all we’ve done is robbed ourselves of something joyful because we feel we don’t deserve it and unfortunately over time this self destruction can have detrimental effects on our relationships and our mental health. Next time this sort of scenario crops up, breathe and communicate, I’ve trialled, tested and am still working on it! Sometimes we do just need a moment alone, but if we can share and be honest with our loved ones and ourselves, the quicker our bomb level can go back up. Either DIY or with help from bae. My personal bomb squad below.
Being the bomb is unconditional, loving and taking care of ourselves and then forgiving ourselves if we get negligent sometimes.
So this Valentine’s Day I’m kick starting BIY. Bomb It Yourself.
1. Hydrate. Prepare for later… Start your day with your favourite tea or coffee in bed or at your favourite grind.
2. Eat. Fuel your body and mind with good food. Ben and Jerry’s will be on offer 15th February.
3. Give. Check in with your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.
4. Self care. Do at least one thing completely and utterly for yourself. Face mask, get a massage, yoga, start researching your next holiday.
5. Self love. Tonight, go for gold. Your best bottle of red, binge watch Grace and Frankie, go dancing, purely because it makes you feel good.
… and you’ll sleep well knowing you’re the bomb.
Happy Valentine’s Day. x